Please don't write stuff on stuff people are writing about: How to write that diary. (snark)

Lately it seems so many people around here have to weigh in on some topic everyone else is discussing or already weighing in on, which gets pretty light and unsubstantial. Or in the case of pie, too heavy, or in the case of pi, simply incomprehensible to the last digit. Which is entirely a digression from my main point: Please don't write stuff about stuff people are writing about.

There's a crying need for a tiny bit of stern scolding that people are diarying endlessly on a topic already diaried about endlessly, whatever that current topic is, today, or at the hour, or at the moment. Here it is: Please stop diarying about that topic, there are so many other important topics to diary about. Which is true, but who wants to hear that? Of course, a few people do.

Strangely, it seems here at Daily Kos that people are writing stuff about stuff people are writing about, almost every day! It's very hard to keep up with let alone put a stop to it. Therefore, my tiny little stern scolding is insufficient. However, your scolding can be diaried whenever needed, since there's a crying need for it almost all the time. But then that could also become stuff about stuff people are writing about, so be careful, if you will.

To help you handle this problem, here are some useful instructions on how to write a generic, all purpose, for any occasion, Please don't write stuff about stuff people are writing about diary.

But first, a disclaimer:

I don't need to list whatever's become beating a dead horse (and I love horses, they are cute, but this is the most well known expression that immediately conveys the concept), because there's too many dead horses (PETA is looking into it) and they keep changing the horses daily. That means a guide to writing a generic Please don't write stuff about stuff people are writing about diary would not be any good with a list of topics not to write about, as it would inevitably become dated, which would then really be ridiculously writing about stuff people are writing about that people are really tired of.

Guidelines for how to write a Please don't write stuff about stuff people are writing about diary:

#1. The title.
The title should always in some fashion say Please don't write  stuff about [insert topic] stuff people are writing about. Creativity should be limited to variations on the above, but no title should be outside these parameters. If there is space, a complaint phrase may be added after the sentence. Some examples of acceptable titles:

Please stop writing election primary diaries. They are boring [this is an example of an acceptable complaint phrase].

No more UFO tin foil conspiracy diaries. They make us look crinkly and stupid [another acceptable complaint phrase-- here you can freely express your outrage].

I think you get the idea of how titles should work.

#2. Intro writing.
The introduction should always be written as a complaint. This is the place to state why you are sick and tired of the topic at hand, and why people should stop writing about it. Extra points for unhinged passion verging on strange. You should always also state that writing about the topic is only encouraging too much attention to the topic, or is only empowering our political opponents. Failure to state this will greatly harm your diary's presentation.

#3. The body.
Think about it, the body doesn't matter much. Sure, you're sitting there, reading the Net, but ignoring your body when it's hungry, thirsty and especially if you need to use the bathroom. Just hold on longer, long enough to finish writing the body of your diary, which is the least important part. It's not important because you've already stated your complaint that people should Please not write stuff about stuff people are writing about, so what does it really matter what you say in the body?

Here's a few tips for the body just in case you need more than one sentence to publish the diary:

1. You can write about how the topic at hand has gotten so out of hand that you don't want to hear about it anymore.

2. More about how writing about the topic at hand encourages and emboldens our opponents and detractors.

3. You can write some really long stuff that doesn't make much sense but allows people to scroll through to get it over with.

4. You can repeat what you said in your intro (how's that for using irony to convey your point?!)

5. You can talk about how everyone here is so obsessed with this pointless topic, and what is wrong with them and why can't they move on, because if they moved on, things would get better.

6. You decide!! You are the creative force, the creator of your diary!! This is where your creative juices can shine.

And now you know the secrets of how to write write a generic, all purpose, for any occasion, Please don't write stuff about stuff people are writing about diary. You are ready, you are prepared, now go at it!